Just a Beginning...

"Life lived in fear is a life half-lived" is a favorite quote of mine, immortalized by the characters of "Strictly Ballroom". It's in that spirit that I begin my life as a pseudo-blogger. I say that because my main purpose is to share my artwork and the processes I go through to make it (this is also a wicked easy way to have my own website!).

I haven't done this yet mainly out of fear--fear of looking too self-important, fear of nasty comments from family members who will inevitably find this little spot in cyberspace in their yearly Google of family names, fear that perhaps I'm really not an artist after all. But if I continue to allow them access to hurt me, I will never live. I will never find out where I might go.

So on we go.

A little background about me is in order, lest you feel a total stranger is foisting her world upon you. Art has always been a passion of mine. There is little else to do when you grow up in a small town in the shadows of 3 'brilliant' older siblings who excel at everything. We lived way out in the country, so I had a lot of time either sitting at home or riding in a car to various sibling sporting events from gymnastics to track. With all of that free time, I doodled and drew. One of my first 'sketchbooks' was a University of Illinois notebook my father brought back from a medical convention for me when I was 5. I immediately set out to fill it with all sorts of drawings from portraits of my mother (that made her upset because they looked so bad--hey, I was 5!) to copies of favorite story illustrations. That set me in motion. The next 13 years at home were spent either reading horse books or drawing horses (and yes, Mr. Squires, I did outgrow that!).

When I was applying for colleges, I really wanted to go to art school; however, my practical father refused to pay for such nonsense as I 'would never make a living' with art (said after viewing my sketchbook). So I quickly let go of that dream and enrolled at Virginia Tech to study English and become a high school teacher. Then I discovered I could take art classes! And so I did. And switched my major to History. The next 4 years sped by in a flurry of artist anatomy classes and late nights drawing bones and muscles. I loved every minute of studio time I could get! And I still wouldn't say I was an artist.

I married my dear husband Marc my senior year. It was he who gave me wings, though it took me many years to attempt to flex them. In our first years, I painted murals. Had I had a BFA, I could have made plenty of money to support myself (the confidence those letters would have brought would have made me more bold--those words my dad spoke to me echoed loudly for too many years). Then I went on 'vacation' with the birth of my two daughters. After a few years of being a zombie from sleepless nights and post-partum depression, Marc spent a summer of weekends building me a studio in the side yard, complete with skylights that open to vent the heat and let in light. He wanted me to use the wings he gave me and finally let myself soar!

And so I tentatively began painting on canvas, taking my first oil painting class. In that class, I was handed a palette knife and told to paint only with that for class one day. I painted a still life called 'Dead Fish and Lemons'. And I was hooked! The feel of oils slicking under that knife, the scent of linseed oil--I had to have more. And so I began to paint more, experimenting with abstract (something I used to sneer was for people who couldn't paint) and with painting the female figure.

Then came the ultimate epiphany! Through all of this, I have been a Christian. Active in Bible studies, actively seeking to do what God wanted me to do. The main problem was that I never felt like I fit in. I was always too loud or boisterous or colorful; I think outside of the box. And then I discovered that there are so many ways to worship God!!! Yes, singing along to amazing music in a church setting is a wonderful experience, but then I was exposed to this idea that I can PAINT during that time, too!! And I so tentatively began to listen to what God might have to say to me or the church and then began to paint what I heard or saw. And wow! It was like a blinding light turned on inside and what had been an exercise in 'fitting in' and 'following the rules' became a journey of amazing discovery of Life I never knew existed.

So back to this whole blog thing (whew--for not being a 'blogger' I just wrote a novel). I want to share what I'm doing. Share the process of how I think when I approach a new painting, share the actual painting process and show the final outcome. I need a definite place to send people who are interested in my work--so much easier to say 'amyrueter.com' than 'uh, you can email me?' to a stranger who wants to see more of what I do. Pieces you see here are available for sale, just contact me.

Feel free to post real questions or helpful comments. I love constructive criticism so long as it's actually helpful--'this sucks' doesn't fall into that realm, I'm afraid. So, let's get going! Kids are in school now, I have time to paint, and I look forward to posting stuff!